How To Make Your Dick Bigger

0
207
Hunk with his big cock out

You Can Get A Bigger Dick!

Seriously? Yes, you can make your penis larger – quickly, simply, and naturally – you really do have options! We’ll cover all of that in this article and  teach you how to become stronger, last longer, and feel better than ever about the size of your dick. You’ll feel more confident than ever at the end.

According to surveys, 45% of men believe their penises are too small. We understand how you feel. That’s why, we were determined to write this article and make sure you get all the groundbreaking research and the most recent scientific findings that can actually make your dick bigger. What we discovered will astound you, inspire you, and make you feel and look bigger than ever before.

This article just might completely change your approach to sex, money, women and confidence. And we believe it will change your entire life.

We weren’t always so cocksure. In fact, we’ve spent decades obsessing about something pretty small and insignificant: our penises. As children of the 1980s, we were the first generation to have unbridled access to home porn, catching Naughty Nymphs on Cinemax (aka “Skin-e-max”) or borrowing Dad’s Hustler. We masturbated to them for the women. But we left remembering what got those women hot and horny: the penises. They were so hairy. So hard. So…big, like a tree trunk with a Smurf house on the end. These guys were the real Dirk Digglers. And us? More like Dink Squigglier.

That’s why, years later, as professionals in the health and service industry, with medical contacts around the world, we set out to write How To Make Your Dick Bigger, and fill it with groundbreaking research and the latest discoveries destined to make your dick bigger. What we discovered will astonish you, encourage you—and help you feel (and look) an inch or more bigger. We know it works. Why? Because it worked for us. And all you have to do is read this article.

∆∆∆

If you also worry that your Willie Winkie is way too Wee, you’re not alone. According to a March 2017 study published in the British Journal of Urology, 45% of men fear their penises are too small. There’s even a clinical name for it: “Small penis anxiety,” or SPA. And there’s a name for the condition in which men think they’re too small but aren’t: “Penile dysmorphic disorder,” or PDD.

The study’s author told Medscape that “we found a whole list of risk factors” for these conditions, “such as things that led to poor attachment, like emotional and physical neglect.” (He didn’t mention Naughty Nymphs.) Makes sense: As a kid, every American has a healthy adolescent anxiety about sex—and throw in group showers, divorces, class bullies, Freudian slips and traumas big and small, and you have a recipe for SPA.

But the fact is, you don’t have to look at your childhood traumas to see the cause. Modern men are engineered to want to feel like men. And the connection between manhood and penis size persists to this day. (Ask Donald “Small Hands” Trump—yes, let’s take a moment to remember the dude had to defend his penis size during a Presidential debate.)

Therefore, logically, if the gods have cursed you with a smaller dick than your best friend or boss or your naked Uncle Jim, well—first of all, tell Uncle Jim to put on some pants. But second of all, you can see why some of us might keep our jeans on during sex.

This article is for them—and for you.

How To Make Your Dick Bigger will completely change the way you think about your penis, and how you use it, and is filled with astonishing benefits, the product of years of intense research that’s changed the lives of hundreds of men. You’ll be free of shame, full of pride and by using the patented techniques in this article:

You’ll Gain an Inch or More

First, the big news: an FDA-approved penis implant is here, and we have the scoop. If you want to actually make your dick physically bigger, just turn to Part 3, where you’ll read about plastic surgeon Dr. James Elist, who will cut you open and insert his ”Penuma,” a subcutaneous soft silicone implant that comes in different sizes (“We don’t have a small, we don’t have a medium,” says the doctor. “We start from large.”)

According to GQ, which profiled Dr. Dick just last year, the Penuma allowed one 43-year-old mechanic to “be going like a Mack truck” and “basically saved our marriage,” according to a plumber, also 43, who added: “I wish I had done it sooner.” (He got the XL.)

For the full details, read our entire interview with Dr. Elist, but spoiler alert: good luck scoring an appointment: He’s the only doctor in the world authorized by the FDA to do the procedure. And it costs $13,000. That’s another reason why you need How To Make Your Dick Bigger. There are far cheaper and less drastic techniques than an implant—and they’ll help you grow naturally. And trying them won’t cost a thing.

You’ll Be More Attractive

The quickest and most natural way to make your penis look bigger is to lose belly fat—and in How To Make Your Dick Bigger, you’ll learn how to do exactly that. This trick is older than the oldest profession, but actually losing fat from where it matters most is next to impossible unless you have a perfectly calibrated diet. That’s why we consulted with a registered dietician to produce a month-long eating plan guaranteed to blast fat from your belly first, and give you the appearance of a full inch or more.

This plan won’t only make you feel more attractive during sex, but you will be: In a recent Women’s Health poll, 85% of women said a big belly was more unattractive than a small dick. You need this meal plan—now.

You’ll Have More Sex

Food has long been used to increase sexual desire (hey, a healthy pour of wine never hurt, either), but did you know there are foods that can actually improve your performance? Come to think of it, Popeye and Olive Oyl were always chasing one another around. Eating spinach puts you in the mood by increasing blood flow below the belt. “Spinach is rich in magnesium, a mineral that decreases inflammation in blood vessels, increasing blood flow,” explains Cassie Bjork, RD, LD of Healthy Simple Life. “Increased blood flow drives blood to the extremities, which, like Viagra, can increase arousal and make sex more pleasurable,” says psychotherapist and sex expert Tammy Nelson Ph.D. “Women will find it is easier to have an orgasm, and men will find that erections come more naturally.” That’s why we list the top 25 foods for your erection—they’ll make you, and your member, stand at attention.

You’ll Be More Fertile
This article is about nuts. And not just those nuts. Selenium is a trace mineral found in Brazil nuts that plays an important role in hormone health. You only need a tiny bit for healthy sperm, but a tiny deficiency can be catastrophic for reproductive health. In one study, men who had lower testosterone and were infertile also had significantly lower selenium levels than the fertile group. Supplementing with the mineral improved chances of successful conception by 56 percent. And a second study that included 69 infertile men with low levels of the mineral, found selenium supplementation could significantly improve sub-par sperm motility associated with testosterone deficiency. Moreover, 11 percent of the men successfully impregnated their partners during the trial! In How To Make Your Dick Bigger, you’ll learn which foods increase fertility. Because nothing makes your dick feel bigger than making a child. Who cares if it’s small if it works!

You’ll Worry Less

One of the most eye-opening parts of our research was the discovery of just how average most men are—and how well you likely size up. The chart here indicates there’s a good chance you’re doing just fine, if size matters. “Men may present to urologists or sexual medicine clinics with a concern with their penis size, despite their size falling within a normal range,” wrote the study’s doctor in The British Journal of Urology. But in How To Make Your Dick Bigger, we don’t stop at science; we asked some real pros: prostitutes and masseuses, who told us what their average size was, and also visited sex clubs to take our own survey. Turn to Part TK for the “happy ending.”

You’ll Save a Ton of Money

Already we’ve saved you $13,000 and a trip to Beverly Hills. But we’ll also investigate the snake oils and booby traps sold by manufacturers preying on your insecurities. We tried them all and know which work and which don’t. After all, you fear your penis is already small; keep that bank account big. 

Intrigued? Keep reading and arm yourself with the tools you need to take back control of your mind, body and penis. Welcome to How To Make Your Dick Bigger.

∆∆∆

Size of the Average Penis

The British Journal of Urology surveyed 13,000 men and the results are in: “We believe this data will help doctors reassure the large majority of men that the size of their penis is in the normal range,” said the doctor behind the study. Feel better?

Length

Flaccid: 3.60 inches (9.16 cm)

Erect: 5.16 inches (13.12 cm)

Circumference

Flaccid: 3.66 inches (9.31 cm)

Erect: 4.59 inches  (11.66 cm)

Source: The British Journal of Urology

Part One

Make Your Penis Bigger—Naturally

Tell us if this sounds familiar: You’re a good guy. You pay your taxes, show up to work on time, and care enough—about your career, family, car, politics, dog—to appear, to the outside world, like an upstanding citizen, a normal dude, a guy pursuing the American Dream just like anyone else.

But inside, there’s something broiling. Maybe it’s anger. Maybe it’s insecurity. Maybe it’s depression. Maybe it’s just a nagging feeling that you just don’t measure up.

In fact, now that you think about it, that’s exactly the problem. It’s the size of your penis. It’s too small. It always has been.

You know this to be true. You’ve stolen looks at guys in the gym, seen porn where men are hung like Groot, or saw that movie Shame and thought: There it is, the definite proof, my “shame”—I’m a needle dick. A dinky winky. A teeny peeny. Hung like a grape.

Size, as the saying goes, matters. And your member ain’t no Fassbender.

As a result, you’ve never realized your full potential—in bed or in life.

“The degree of penis anxiety that men have can certainly vary a lot,” says Dr. Justin Lehmiller, Director of the Social Psychology Graduate Program at Ball State University. “But for some of them it gets entirely out of hand and reaches a point where it becomes an obsessive preoccupation that significantly interferes with their quality of life.”

This can result in resentment: You look at other men—the ones who seem so confident—and think the dumb ones must be well-hung; the rest of us have to be smarter to keep up. And forget about scoring confidently on a date. You’re ultimately too shy to put yourself out there, fearing “the moment” when he or she reaches for your dick and can’t find it, or worried they’ll straight-up laugh.

As a result, you’ve missed your chance to be a legend. To score. To win—sometimes even, to fall in love.

This ends now.

After years of studying the secrets behind sex and its correlation penis size, we’ve determined the best way to grow yours—and have lovers begging for more every time. We’ve consulted the world’s leading surgeons, nutritionists, psychologists and sexperts to develop a plan that you’ll only find right here. In this chapter, you’ll discover exactly how How To Make Your Dick Bigger works, and see why it’s the most natural and effective “cure” on the market. By the end, you’ll be more than a good guy. You’ll be a great one.

How To Make Your Dick Bigger—Revealed

The premise of How To Make Your Dick Bigger is that a combination of the right superfoods, combined with smart supplementation, some rethinking about what size means, and a mastery of erotic prowess, will lead to a larger-appearing penis and more confidence. The article focuses on four key results:

1)     You’ll lose weight. The primary benefit of a flat belly—besides a longer life—is that everything under it will look bigger once it’s flat. Our finely calibrated diet will help you lose up to 14 pounds in 14 days.

2)     You’ll increase your sex drive. Each of the 20 Bigger Dick Secret superfoods are filled with sex-boosting nutrients meant to increase your libido. And our advice for the bedroom will lead to more sex, which in turn leads to even more sex.

3)     You’ll increase blood flow. By consuming key nutrients, you will give your penis the thick, veiny look you want, and look bigger even when flaccid.

4)     You’ll look and feel bigger. These techniques combined will result in a larger-appearing flaccid and erect penis, and give you the confidence you need to stay harder, longer. To start the plan, give yourself 14 days to fully commit.

How to Begin How To Make Your Dick Bigger

How To Make Your Dick Bigger is most effective if you follow the plan closely as the foods, nutrients and sex advice go hand-in-hand. Before beginning, there are a few steps to do first. Don’t worry—they’re not hard, though you will be.

1) Measure Your Penis

Measuring an erect penis

This may be the only step you need to gain instant confidence. Most of you will measure your erect penis and discover that it’s 5 inches or longer, right in line with the average. In any case, you’ll want to measure your length before starting How To Make Your Dick Bigger. Here’s how.

1)     Purchase a cloth measuring tape, like the kind you’d see at a tailor. A metal tape measure won’t be as flexible, and it could slice your member open if it snaps back. And don’t even think about using your iPhone! You talk into that thing!

2)     Get as hard as possible. You’ll want to measure yourself at peak hardness. Masturbate until you’re as hard as you’ve ever been, and then grab the tape measure.

3)     Position the top of the tape at the base of your penis, right when it attaches to your body. If you have fat in the way, press in until you find the exact spot where the penis comes out of your pelvis.

4)     Unfurl the tape to the tippity-top of your penis and note the length.

5)     Then take the tape and measure the circumference of the penis. This is called the girth.

Measuring a flaccid penis

You can measure your flaccid penis the same way, by lacing the measuring tape at the base and lining it up with your penis tip. Don’t be discouraged if your flaccid penis is only a few inches. A flaccid penis has no use beyond peeing, and unless you’re trying to impress some poor scandalized janitor in the men’s room, who gives an eff what size it is? What you want is a penis that gets as hard as it can, when the time is right. This article will ensure it does.

Your erect penis size: length__________girth__________

Your flaccid penis size: length__________girth__________

2) See How Long You Stay Hard

By hard, we mean fully erect. A—ahem—large part of the Bigger Dick Secret is that you’ll open up your blood vessels, and thus maintain erections longer. One way to measure success is to see how long you can stay rock hard before starting, and how much it improves after using our methods.

You don’t need to masturbate to figure this out, if you’ve been sexually active recently. Just take this little quiz.

My average duration of rock-hardness is…. (select one):

a)     I can stay hard for—literally—ever

b)     I’m hard for about 50% of the sexual activity

c)     I’m hard for about 30% of the sexual activity

d)     I can never maintain a full erection. It’s always a soft chub.

How long does it take you to get hard, if you’re properly stimulated:

a)     Seconds

b)     A few minutes

c)     I need at least 10 minutes, ideally with foreplay

d)     I can’t confidently say I ever get completely hard.

Do you need manual stimulation to get hard?

a)     No, I get hard without anyone touching me.

b)     Yes, I have to manually stimulate myself.

c)     Yes, I need my partner to do it, or it doesn’t work.

d)     If someone’s not constantly pumping, it goes soft.

If you answered mostly Ds, expect to get into the Cs and Bs by the time you’re done with How To Make Your Dick Bigger. And if you answered mostly Cs and Bs, expect to graduate to A level.

Before the plan, I answered mostly: ______________

After the plan, I answered mostly: _________________

3) Take Before and After Photos

How To Make Your Dick Bigger won’t just help you feel like you have a bigger penis; it’ll help you be more attractive, period. To that end, you’ll want to take before and after photos not just of your little friend but you, too.

To take a before photo of yourself:

Get completely naked. Position your camera phone far away enough to take a body shot from the knees up. Use a timer to take your photos. For the first shot, face the camera and stand up straight. For the second shot, turn right and stand up straight.

To take a before photo of just your penis:

When flaccid, stand and position the camera to the direct right of your penis. Then also take a shot of it from straight on. And take one from underneath, being sure to include the penis from top to bottom.

Repeat when erect.

For the “After” photos, repeat after 14 days on How To Make Your Dick Bigger, and then a month after starting, too.

4) Stock Up on Foods and Supplements

On How To Make Your Dick Bigger, you’ll take power-packed supplements and eat carefully selected superfoods. In the back of this article, you’ll find a complete list, or just turn to the respective chapters and take this article to the grocery store and GNC.

5)  Now You’re Ready!

Follow the steps in this article, and you’ll feel happier and healthier in no time, and have the confidence to get hard, stay hard and look harder than ever—and feel no shame ever again.

∆∆∆

Why Black Men Have Bigger Dicks

Newsflash: They don’t. But that hasn’t stopped the racial stereotype from persisting. Almost every interracial porn has “big black cock” in the title, and by now, the idea is so shopworn, it’s a joke. Literally. In the words of Bernie Mac: “I’m blessed. I’m big boned. I’m heavy structured. I’m hung low. If I pull my shit out this whole room will get dark!”

The anatomical truth is, black men don’t have bigger penises. But there’s a reason you think they do.

The stereotype of a big black dick was perpetuated by white men in the slave era, meant to demonize the race as bull-dicked rapists coming for our women. “White people the ones that made up the rumor,” joked another comedian, Eddie Murphy, “Ya know black people got some tremendous dicks … The Brother’s dick is too big, it fucks up his balance!”

If you think white guys feel bad in comparison, think of the black guys who have average dicks! Most do.

∆∆∆

POP Quiz: Do you have penile dysmorphic disorder?

One of the quickest ways to make your penis grow bigger is to discover that it actually is big enough; the smallness might be in your head. You might have Penile Dysmorphic Disorder. “Penile dysmorphic disorder is better considered as a subtype of body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) that focuses exclusively on the penis,” says Dr. Lehmiller. “PDD refers to a condition in which individuals have a persistent and distressing belief that they have some major physical defect or flaw that, in reality, is only very slight or not noticeable by others.” This misperception can lead to negative thoughts, anxiety, introversion or even suicide.

“So what does it mean to have PDD?” asks Lehmiller. “A study published earlier this year in the Archives of Sexual Behavior created a screening tool that that can potentially be used to identify the most extreme cases of penis anxiety. The nine items on this survey included the following, each rated on a 9-point scale ranging from not at all/never to extremely/always:

1) To what extent do you feel the size or appearance of your penis is defective or unattractive?

2) To what extent does the size or appearance of your penis currently cause you distress?

3) How often does the size or appearance of your penis currently lead you to avoid situations or activities?

4) To what extent does thinking about the size or appearance of your penis currently preoccupy you? That is, you think about it a lot and it is hard to stop thinking about it.

5) If you have a regular partner, to what extent do your concerns about the size or appearance of your penis currently have an effect on an existing sexual relationship? (e.g. enjoyment of sex, frequency of sexual activity). If you do not have a regular partner, to what extent do your concerns about your penis currently stop you from developing a sexual relationship?

6) How much do your concerns about the size or appearance of your penis currently interfere with your ability to work or study?

7) To what extent do your concerns about the size or appearance of your penis currently interfere with your social life? (with other people, e.g. going to parties, pubs, clubs, outings, visits)

8) To what extent do your concerns about the size or appearance of your penis currently interfere with leisure activities? (for example being in a public changing room).

9) How much do you feel the size or appearance of your penis is the most important aspect of who you are?

If you answered close to “extremely/always” for many of the above, it’s worth talking to a mental health professional about diagnosing PDD.

Part Two

The Bigger Dick Diet

To feel bigger in the bedroom, you have to start in the kitchen. What you eat will determine your size, performance and virility, boosting testosterone, opening blood vessels and shrinking your tummy—all key to getting and looking larger.

In this chapter, you’ll discover the 20 key superfoods that have the greatest impact on your penis size, and will then put them to use in our exclusive 14-day meal plan that combines them all into easy-to-make delicious meals. By the end, you’ll lose weight, feel great and be your strongest self—in and out of bed.

The secret is not just the food, but what’s in it. The following vitamins and minerals are essential for big gains:

Zinc. The connection between this chemical element and higher testosterone has been known for 20 years, after scientists studied a cross-section of men and concluded that zinc “plays an important role in modulating serum testosterone levels in normal men,” as they wrote in the Department of Internal Medicine journal. On the flip side, a zinc deficiency led to increased estrogen levels, which can contribute to man boobs or prostate cancer. Read on to discover the foods highest in zinc.

Vitamin B12. Get too little, and your chances of erectile dysfunction increases, according to Harvard researchers. That’s because the vitamin directly affects your blood flow and cell regeneration. B12 and you’ll B all good.

Magnesium shrinks inflammation in blood vessels, which unshrinks your dick.

Arginine opens up blood vessels.

Protein. This building block works in a few ways: It builds muscle, so you’ll burn fat faster; it increases levels of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine, which means you’ll feel less depressed and more “in the mood”; and plant-based proteins can improve your sperm quality. That’s why we recommend protein with every meal—and make our Bigger Dick Smoothies with plant-based protein powder. Aim for at least 56 grams daily.

• Prolactin, Nitrates, Phytochemicals, Selenium and more. Read on to discover how these powerful nutrients will make you bigger, faster.

If your doctor determines you’re missing the nutrients above, he may recommend a supplement; ask him or her if you feel you have a true deficiency. But the best way for normal men to get them is straight from the source: real food.

20 Foods That Make Your Penis Grow

We call these the Bigger Dick Superfoods. Eat them and you’ll feel like Superman.

20. Avocados
In a shocking study from 2010, researchers discovered that low prolactin levels in men can lead to sexual dysfunction—we say shocking because the protein was until then most often associated with breast milk production. (Now you’ll be milking something else.) The scientists examined nearly 3,000 Europeans and found those with low prolactin levels not only performed worse in bed, but they couldn’t enjoy strong orgasms either. Women, too. “We found significant positive correlations between changes in prolactin levels over four weeks and changes in orgastic dysfunction for both sexes,” said the report. The solution: guacamole, avocado toast or a Cobb salad. Avocados have been proven to stimulate prolactin levels. They also leads to weight loss.

19. Beets
You beat it. Now beet off. Your cock gets hard because the blood vessels fill with blood. (No, it’s not possessed by the devil—your priest was lying. We think.) Open up those vessels, and a river flows through it. Enter nitrates, nature’s vasodilators, which increase blood flow. We’re huge fans of vasodilation, because it truly is an all-natural way to make your erections not just look bigger, but actually get bigger and last longer. You’ll find vasodilators in beets. Have you ever wondered why Russian women cook borscht for their husbands all the time? They know how to raise their missiles.

18. Blackberries and other red fruits
The blacker the berry, the harder your dick. Phytochemicals, the chemical compound found in many fruits and veggies that’s responsible for their color, also lead to increased arousal. Foods highest in phytochemicals include apples with the skin on, blueberries, cranberries and plums (among other fruits) and a ton of veggies like asparagus, bok choy (it’s Chinese cabbage), eggplant and kale (hipster cabbage), according to the Dana Farber Cancer Center.

17. Spinach
Like beets, spinach is very high in nitrates. How do we know? We’ve studied the latest reports about lowering blood pressure. The same foods that will prevent Chris Christie from having a heart attack will help you get hard (even after thinking of Chris Christie). Spinach is protein-packed and full of iron, which means it’ll help you build muscle and lose weight, too. It’s also one of the best sources for zinc! Popeye’s massive forearms weren’t the only thing shaped by cans of spinach.

16. Teff
To get iron hard, you need to be an Iron man. The element has been shown to increase sex drive in women and improve the strength of erections. Spinach is a tremendous source, but our secret weapon is teff, a very fine grain (think poppy seeds) that you can eat like quinoa or grind into flour. One cup has a whopping 26 grams of protein—more than most nutrition bars—as well as iron and manganese, a trace mineral that also helps with erections. Bob’s Red Mill makes an awesome teff flour that’s available at most health food stores or on Amazon. (Or try amaranth, a similar grain!)

15. Coffee
Sometimes the simplest solutions are right in front of you. On every block. At every Starbucks. Caffeine gets the blood pumping. Drink coffee a half hour before sex and you’ll be good to go. That explains why you have a major crush on that barista.

14. Garbanzo Beans
To increase the profits of Penis Inc. you need more zinc. The element—which keeps your sperm healthy, according to the Institute of Medicine—is found in beef and pork, but the cheapest source is garbanzo beans, a.k.a. chickpeas, which have 1.3 milligrams per 3 oz. serving.

13. Dark Meat Chicken
You’re a breast man? Switch to legs. Another awesome source of zinc, this is perhaps our coolest trick in the article: Order dark meat instead of white, and you’ll get 2.5 milligrams per 3 ounces of the wonder element, and also save cash on your protein purchases.

12. Black-Eyed Peas
Let’s get it started in here: One half cup of black-eyed peas has 105 micrograms of folate, which, like zinc, stimulates sperm production. Eating them on New Year’s Day supposedly brings luck all year round; eat them tonight and you’ll get lucky, too.

10. Pork
The guys from Porky’s were on to something. This lean meat is high in protein, low in fat and filled with zinc. Use it as your main protein at least three times a week, and make sure you choose lean cuts or a tenderloin. Just do yourself a favor and never Google “pork penis size.”

9. Ginger
This zingy root adds zing to your erection by increasing blood flow. It’s also a quick way to add major flavor to any dish or smoothie without adding fat. Not to mention, ginger boosts your immune system and overall health. Bonus: chicks dig it — just ask the ones who do yoga.

8. Garlic
Chicks don’t dig this. But doctors do. Garlic contains selenium, an antioxidant that helps your boys swim, and also improves circulation and tissue elasticity. Your little man will turn into Plastic-Man. Aim for two cloves a day.

7. Beans
If you’ve ever wished for your dick to get bigger, good news: We’ve found the genie in the bottle. B vitamins help connect your penis to your brain (they’re not one in the same, despite what you’ve heard!), so fill up on thiamine, aka Vitamin B1. The best sources are wholemeal bread and beans. We love the latter because they’re also filled with fiber and muscle-building protein. Grab a can of black beans (with no salt) for the quickest and cheapest results.

6. Walnuts and Pistachios
The wonder-nut walnut is heart-healthy, and as we’ve said, any food that’s good for your heart—and your circulation—is good for your penis. They directly dilate the blood vessels and are filled with Omega-3s.

Meanwhile, an important Turkish study found eating a handful of pistachios every day for three weeks led to more erections. And know why we trust it? They tested it on men who needed the most help: married ones aged 38-59. “Pistachios have been considered an aphrodisiac in some folklore,” said Dr. Thomas W. Hopkins, who sat on the National Advisory Panel for Erectile Dysfunction. “To my knowledge, this is the first study that lends support for this belief.”

5. Salmon
Soon, your boys won’t just swim, they’ll swim upstream. The best fish for your penis is also the best fish for everything else. Salmon is filled with Omega-3s and thins your blood, which means it’s able to rush where you need it, faster. It’s also low in fat and high in protein, so you’ll lose weight fast. Just be sure to order wild salmon. It has ⅓ less fat than other varieties. And avoid it smoked. You want to reduce your sodium count over the next 14 days.

4. Red Wine
You’ve gotten horny drinking this before, and there’s a reason no one ever complains of “wine dick”—it works! That’s thanks to resveratrol, a phytochemical that stokes production of nitric oxide, which causes your blood vessels and arteries to expand. (This works for women, too. According to a study out of Italy, women who drink a glass or two of red wine a day not only get more aroused but feel more satisfied during sex.) Just stick to one or two glasses daily yourself. A whole bottle will get you the sex of your dreams…in your dreams, because it makes you sleepy.

3. Oysters
The stereotypical aphrodisiac deserves that status. They’re loaded with zinc, and phytochemical research by the American Chemical Society proves they make you harder. Aim for eight a week. Slurp!

2. Chili Peppers
When it comes to sex, a burning sensation is never good. Except when it is. The active component in chili peppers is capsaicin, a compound that has been shown to increase your libido and burn fat, making it the perfect penis food. Capsaicin also increases endorphins, the same “feel good” hormones released when exercising. Pro tip: If cooking with them, do not touch your penis afterwards. Instead of having sex, she’ll be pouring yogurt on your dick to relieve the pain. It happened to one of us. Which one, we’re not telling.

And the #1 Best Food For Your Penis is….

Maca Powder
Also seriously known as the “Peruvian viagra,” maca powder is now widely available in the U.S. “Two double-blind studies have confirmed that maca root can treat sexual dysfunction in humans,” reports Natural News. “For the first study, which was published in the Andrologia journal in April 2009, the researchers fed 50 male patients who were suffering from mild erectile dysfunction with either a 2,400 milligram extract of maca root or a placebo. After 12 weeks of testing, both groups experienced an improvement in their International Index of Erectile Function (IIEF) scores. However, the researchers noted that “patients taking maca experienced a more significant increase than those taking placebo.” The maca group also exhibited greater “sexual well-being” than the control group.

The Bigger Dick Diet

Combining the 20 Best Foods for Your Penis, we’ve painstakingly created a 14-day diet high in zinc, thiamine, choline, arginine, magnesium, Vitamin B12 and foods that release nitric oxide (the very same chemical released by Viagra). The result is a diet that will accomplish four key tasks and guarantee a bigger dick:

It will boost your testosterone.

It will keep your immune system strong and inflammation-free.

It will keep your blood vessels wide open. Or, as Dr. Steven Lamm, author of The Hardness Factor (and coincidentally our doctor when we were teenagers—no joke; by the way, all the celebs go to him; he had a signed photo of Steve Martin!), told GQ: “If your cardiovascular system is impaired, your penile health is impaired, and the reverse is true as well—it’s one system.”

It will help you lose weight.

The Bigger Dick Diet At-A-Glance

On The Bigger Dick Diet, you’ll drink your first meal, and eat the other two. It’s that simple. Each meal includes some of the Bigger Dick Superfoods. You’ll also take certain key supplements daily.

BREAKFAST
Every day for breakfast, you’ll enjoy a delicious, creamy smoothie that has the perfect balance of heart-healthy fats, testosterone-boosting protein and immunity-stocking superfoods. You’ll find 14 recipes in the meal plan, or mix and match the foods we mention to concoct your own. After eating, take 2,000 mg of l-arginine, one tablet of horny goat weed, and 60 mg of ginkgo biloba.

MID-MORNING SNACK
Three hours after breakfast, enjoy a combination of snacks from the list you’ll find later in this chapter, which include one protein and one fiber.

LUNCH
For your midday meal, you’ll eat a lean protein, healthy fiber and omega-3 rich oil.

MID-DAY SNACK
Again, enjoy a taste from our list later in this chapter.

DINNER
To end the day, you will have the perfectly balanced meal that will leave you full until breakfast—and also flat-bellied and confident, ready for whatever the night brings.

Other Rules

Alcohol: You’re allowed one glass of wine a day. No other alcohol or beers.

Grains: You’ll notice we don’t include them. Grains—include wheat—cause intestinal discomfort for some, and more importantly, don’t contribute to a bigger dick. Avoid them for 14 days.

Dairy: Also not included. Dairy does nothing for your sex drive, and can cause inflammation and mucus. You’ll notice we recommend plant-based proteins and milks only. We’re not alone here—research backs us up, and diet plans like The Whole 30 or Zero Belly Diet also ditch the dairy and grains, to tremendous effect.

Cheat Meals: To see maximum results, allow yourself just one cheat meal after the first week. No more than that. And no cheat days.

Snacks: Indulge in any of the following—one from column A, one from column B:

Column A:
1 apple
3 celery sticks
3 apricots
1 plum

Column B:
2 teaspoons of peanut butter (no sugar added)
1 cheese stick
1/2 scoop vegetarian protein powder blended with unsweetened almond milk
5 almonds

Sample Week of Eating

Day One

BREAKFAST
The Big Maca Smoothie
1 cup plant-based milk
1/2 frozen banana
1 tablespoon maca powder
1 scoop vegetarian protein powder
1/2 tablespoon coconut oil

Combine ingredients and blend.

MID-MORNING SNACK

LUNCH
Kale and Hearty
1 cup kale, washed
2 roasted beets (you can buy these pre-cooked), chopped
½ avocado, sliced
½ cup chopped almonds

Combine all ingredients into a salad.

MID-DAY SNACK

DINNER
Tender Goes the Knife
¼ pound pork tenderloin
1 tsp olive oil
1 cup spinach
½ cup teff
2 roasted beets (left over from package from lunch)

Heat skillet over medium-high heat. Add oil. After one minute, add tenderloin. Cook for 4 minutes one one side, then turn and cook for additional four minutes. Repeat process until meat inside is white (not pink). Prepare teff according to package instructions. Serve pork over teff with beets. And enjoy with one glass of red wine!

Day Two

BREAKFAST

The Ginger Prince Smoothie
1 teaspoon ginger
1 dash of cayenne pepper
1/2 cup plant-based milk
1 scoop sugar-free chocolate protein powder
2 ice cubes
Water to taste

Combine ingredients and blend.

MID-MORNING SNACK

LUNCH
Swimming Upstream
3 oz salmon filet
1 teaspoon olive oil
1 ½ teaspoons maca powder
½ cup wild rice
Any green vegetable

Heat skillet over medium-high heat. Coat salmon in maca powder. Cook on each side for 5 minutes or until desired consistency. Cook rice according to package instructions. Serve with any green vegetable.

MID-DAY SNACK

DINNER
Guac Star
2 lean pork chops
2 teaspoon olive oil
1 avocado
2 cups canned black beans
1 cup teff

Heat skillet over medium high heat. Add pork chops. Cook for 4 minutes on each side at a time until they’re not pink inside. Mash ½ avocado into paste. Mix in 1 cup of beans. Coat chop in avocado mixture and serve over teff. Serve with red wine! And wrap the other chop, avocado and beans up for lunch tomorrow.

Day Three

BREAKFAST
The Garlic Knot Smoothie
2 garlic cloves
1/2 cup avocado
1/2 cup spinach
Handful of pistachios
1 cup plant-based milk
1 scoop sugar-free vegetarian protein powder
Water and ice to taste

Combine ingredients and blend.

MID-MORNING SNACK

LUNCH
Leftover pork from dinner

MID-DAY SNACK

DINNER
Java Chicken
2 chicken legs
1 cup ground coffee
2 pats of butter
½ can of black beans
½ cup brown rice

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Rub chicken legs with coffee and butter. Place in roasting pan. Cook for 20 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink inside. Prepare rice according to package instructions. Serve chicken over rice with beans. And one glass of red wine!

Day Four

BREAKFAST
The Naughty and Spice Smoothie
1/2 tablespoon of ginger, grated
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder
1 frozen banana
1 scoop plant-based protein
1 cup plant-based milk
Water and ice to taste

MID-MORNING SNACK

LUNCH
Beanie Bowl
1 cup canned garbanzo beans
1 cup amaranth
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon ginger powder or shaved ginger

Cook amaranth according to package instructions. Once cooked, cool and add other ingredients to it.

MID-DAY SNACK

DINNER
Blind Melons
2 cups spinach
1 cup chopped watermelon
1 cup chopped honeydew melon
Handful of almonds

Combine all ingredients into salad. Eat with one glass of red wine!

Day Five

BREAKFAST
Ginger Zinger Smoothie
1/2 tsp fresh ginger
4 baby carrots
1 frozen banana
1/4 teaspoon ground turmeric
1 cup unsweetened plant-based milk
1 scoop plant-based protein powder
Ice and water to taste

Combine ingredients and blend.

MID-MORNING SNACK

LUNCH
The Black Salad
1 cup spinach
½ cup blackberries
½ cup almonds
½ can garbanzo beans (rinsed)

Combine ingredients into salad.

MID-DAY SNACK

DINNER

Hot to Trot
3 oz salmon filet
1/4 cup canned black beans
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Dust salmon with cayenne. Bake at 300 degrees for 15 minutes. Cook rice as directed on package. Serve with beans. And a glass of red wine!

Day Six

BREAKFAST
The Big Maca Smoothie

MID-MORNING SNACK

LUNCH
The Red Egg Wrap
1 whole wheat wrap
2 eggs
1 cup spinach
Any red vegetables

Hard boil eggs. Combine with spinach and vegetables and wrap.

MID-DAY SNACK

DINNER
Nuts for Salmon
3 oz salmon filet
¼ cup pistachios
1/4 cup canned black-eyed peas
1 cup teff

Place pistachios in Ziploc bag and crush into chunks. The cover salmon with them. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes. Prepare teff and peas according to package instructions. Serve with fish. And one glass of red wine!

Day Seven

BREAKFAST
The Red Hot Smoothie
1/2 avocado
1/2 cup frozen cherries
1 tablespoon chia seeds
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 scoop plain plant-based protein powder
1 cup unsweetened plant-based milk

Combine ingredients and blend.

MID-MORNING SNACK

LUNCH
Choco-Chicken
2 chicken legs
1/2 dark chocolate bar, 70% cacao, grated
2 pats of butter
½ can of garbanzo beans
½ cup teff

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Rub chicken legs with chocolate and butter. Place in roasting pan. Cook for 20 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink inside. Prepare rice according to package instructions. Serve chicken over rice with beans.

MID-DAY SNACK

DINNER
Oyster Boy
Who are you kidding? You’re not going to cook oysters. But here are three easy steps to getting the maximum benefits—repeat them at least once a week:

Step One: Go to restaurant that serves oysters.
Step Two: Order oysters. And one glass of red wine.
Step Three: Consume oysters. At least 7. You know what to do with the wine.

Maintenance Plan

Eat like the above for 14 days and you’ll lose up to 16 pounds. Eat like that for a lifetime and you’ll never gain it back. After you complete the first 14 days, our mission for the next few months — should you choose to accept it — is to follow The Bigger Dick Diet six days a week. And do whenever you want the seventh. Even God needed a rest.

Part Three

Miracle Cures—Which THINGS Work, and Which THINGS Don’t

We wrote How To Make Your Dick Bigger because we want you to have the truest, most trusted, and most extensively researched information available anywhere about making your penis bigger. To that end, there is no more important chapter than this one. That’s because so many brands out there are trying to lie to you, and take your money. Trust them, and you’ll shrink not just your penis, but your wallet, too.

You might also hurt yourself. Badly.

The stories are legendary: There’s the Minnesota man who tried to return his penis pump because it didn’t work, and then pulled a gun on the sex shop owner when he wouldn’t take it back (“Suspect ‘at large,’” reported the local paper). There’s the Ivy League track star whose parents claimed he got addicted to “penis pills” and was later found dead of a reported suicide. And who can forget the Hungarian who had a friend inject his penis with Vaseline and was happy at first—until his foreskin puffed out to “15 times its size” and the blood poured out.

Even Austin Powers—who literally wrote the article on Swedish penis pumps—says “danger” is his middle name.

So which products work, which don’t, and which couldn’t hurt (literally) because they make you more self confident? We examined every notable penis enlargement product and reported back here about the 10 most popular—and asked a professional MD from New York City for her take. What follows is our exhaustive (and exhausted) report on the very best and very worst surgeries, pumps, pills and more.

Supplements

Sorry Limitless: there is no pill you can pop that will instantly make your dick bigger. But there are some that will increase the blood flow to your penis so that it has more length and girth than ever before, including a thick, veiny look. Here’s a survey of some that are part of this plan.

Natural Supplements You’ll Take on How To Make Your Dick Bigger

L-arginine
These big white pills are nearly as powerful as the little blue ones. When l-arginine enters your body, the powerful antioxidant is converted into nitric oxide, which opens your blood vessels. This means it’ll be easier for you to get an erection, and that your erection will be bigger. (Bonus: it also stimulates growth hormones.) L-arginine is often recommended by psychiatrists to patients who are experiencing lack of libido due to antidepressants. On our plan, you’ll take 2,000 mg daily. (You could also try L-citrulline, an amino acid that your body turns into L-arginine.)

Horny Goat Weed
You’ve heard of the Love Boat. Now get ready for the love goat. One day, centuries ago, a mountain herder was walking along, probably checking Twitter, when he noticed his goats weren’t just horned—they were horny. Why? They were eating herbaceous plants in the family Berberidaceae, now formally known as Horny Goat Weed. Three thousand years later, you can buy your own on Amazon. This natural herb also stimulates blood flow by opening your blood vessels. On our plan, you’ll take 60 mg daily.

Ginkgo Biloba
This ancient Chinese remedy came into fashion decades ago as a memory cure—now, it’s also known to lead to a night you’ll never forget, thanks to its opening of blood vessels. On our plan, you’ll take 60 mg daily.

GNC Men’s ArginMax
This over-the-counter supplement has L-arginine and ginkgo biloba, so it’s a nice one-two punch—you can take it instead of taking them separately. Use as directed on the bottle.

Prescription Drugs

Viagra and Cialis

If your doctor has diagnosed you with erectile dysfunction—the inability to generate and maintain an erection during sex—then by all means take these as prescribed. They will make you hard.

New services like Hims (hims.com) and Roman (getroman.com) offer online consultations with real doctors, saving you any in-person embarrassment, and if you’re approved, they will deliver your medication in discreet packaging, so no one’s the wiser. You should also check with a urologist to see if you have low testosterone. After 40, your testosterone declines 1% per year. Get checked.

But understand: Viagra and Cialis don’t increase your sex drive or lead to stronger orgasms.

To discover more about how these ED treatments work, we talked to one of the preeminent experts in the field, Paul Gittens, MD, FACS, Director of New York Center for Sexual Medicine and Philadelphia Center for Sexual Medicine.

Q: So, long story short, how do Viagra and Cialis really work?
A: In simple terms, Cialis and Viagra are known as phosphodiesterase inhibitors (PDEI). Phosphodiesterase is an enzyme that turns off the switch for erections. Viagra and Cialis inactivate the turn-off switch, thus making it more likely to have an erection.

Q: Will they make a man’s penis “bigger”?

A: Viagra and Cialis will not make the penis bigger per se. But if a male is having erectile dysfunction and is not getting firm erections, PDEI may give the male his firmness back and the perception that his penis may look larger.

Q: Is it OK to use them even if you don’t have ED—just to stay harder, longer?

A: This is controversial. If a man has a perfect erection, then PDEI will not cause more firmness, but if he is having some deficit then it may appear longer or harder. Also there may be some evidence that men that use PDEI for recreational use may cause irreversible damage to the penile tissue. Recreational use may be linked to other drug-related activity and risker rates of STDs.

Q: How can I get some?

A: PDEI can be prescribed by a physician. Unfortunately there is a huge black market for the blue pill and there are a number of online pharmacies that may use similar packaging that are hardly distinguishable from original boxes by visual inspection.

Q: Are there any natural products I can get over the counter or at a nutrition store that are as effective?

A: Many of the products that are over-the-counter at your local drugstore may have traces of Viagra or Cialis. Some over-the-counter products that may help with erections are L-arginine and L-citrulline.

Q: How about oysters? They’re supposed to be an aphrodisiac.

A: The thought may have origin in tales that Casanova ate a number of oysters every morning. 

Q: How long does a Viagra erection last?
A: Viagra onset is best between 60 to 120 minutes. The effects last between 8-12 hours.

Q: Can sex with Viagra be painful?
A: It shouldn’t be.

Q: Does Viagra make sex any different?
A: Since erections may be harder, men may feel more satisfaction and sensitivity.

Q: Why do I need a doctor’s prescription? Can Viagra can be dangerous? 

A: Viagra overall is fairly safe. It’s been linked to eye conditions that can lead to permanent blindness, hearing loss and heart and blood pressure problems with men that have heart problems or that are on a number of blood pressure medications. Viagra may also be affected by a number of medications that cause side effects like a rapid drop in blood pressure.

Q: Who should avoid taking Viagra and Cialis?
A: Men who have problems with their heart and certain eye conditions should consult their doctor prior to starting PDEI. Their doctor should undergo a thorough evaluation of medications and review of medical history.

Q: How about that Viagra Coffee? Sounds like a real pick-me-up.
A: Unfortunately, Viagra coffee or teas have been taken off the market. The reason is the active ingredient is similar to Viagra — desmethyl carbodenafil. The FDA wants to control this because of some of the health risks associated with Viagra may be associated with these teas or coffees, although, to my knowledge, none have been reported.

Medical Procedures

Penile Implant

We don’t have to tell you plastic surgery should be considered the last resort. Yet remarkably, plastic surgery to lengthen your penis, also known as a penoplasty, is the only sure-fire way to add growth to your penis.

Doctors are working on silicone implants, acid injections and other improvements to cater to a clientele wanting something more, in a field that used to be reserved for reconstructing fire victims, birth defects or Hungarians slathered in Vaseline. Penile augmentation is “now as safe as breast augmentation,” said Korean doctor Nam Cheol Park during a presentation, as reported in The Telegraph.

The only catch—besides his exaggeration—is that it comes at a cost. Both financial and physical.

The average penoplasty starts at $10,000 from any doctor who’s remotely reputable. Finding one you can trust, who lives near you, is next to impossible. And once solved, you’re in for at least six weeks of recuperation. Lastly, once healed, you’ll be bigger—but walking around with a fake boob in your dick. This can lead to dysfunctional erections, infections or a decreased sex drive. It can also lead to more confidence, which is why you’re reading this.

With the negatives now clear, let’s hear from someone who’s pretty positive about penoplasty—Dr. James Elist, aka the inventor of the Bionic Dick. That’s the nickname GQ gave the L.A. doc in a splashy profile that said what we’re all thinking: “If there’s one global, irrefutable truth, it’s that all men dream of being enormous,” wrote Amy Wallace, “even the ones who are already big.”

The P-Shot®

In Silicon Valley, CEOs are rumored to have blood boys—younger men who cycle their blood into the rich bastard in exchange for payment. In a way, the P-Shot is similar. Your own blood is extracted, and then platelet-rich plasma (PRP) found in the blood is used to stimulate the growth of new, younger tissue and the increase of blood flow. The creator says this will lead to a penis that is an inch or two bigger—”naturally stimulating penis rejuvenation.” For $1,200, we’ll never know.

Grafting

After the penile implant, the next surgical enlargement technique to emerge was grafting. During this procedure, a surgeon a) injects fat harvested from another area of the body into the penis; or b) peels back the top layer of penile skin and supplements it with a sheet of Alloderm, a synthetic tissue (originally developed for burn victims) that is processed from cadavers.

Yup, cadavers. This might sound like the plot of a monster movie (back off — we’re already writing it) and in fact has the potential to be a horror show. The technique is nowhere near perfected, and reported side effects include shifting of the grafted material (resulting in a misshapen pile of junk) to sensation loss. Also consider: There is no safe way to enlarge the penile head, meaning you could end up with 10 pounds of cock above a 5-pound glans — possibly the most awkward 1am conversation starter we can imagine.

Filler

Women started getting injections of synthetic filler to plump up their lips in the late ’80s, so perhaps it was only a matter of time before the procedure migrated up (to pave over undereye creases and crow’s feet in both genders) and way, way down. Today, cosmetic surgeons and other practitioners will inject fillers such as Bellafill and Juvederm into your dick, promising added girth. An online search will uncover very positive reviews from those who’ve undergone the procedure. But all of them acknowledge a painful fact: It’s only temporary. One session will run you $2,000 to $5,000 or more, with a touch-up required every six months —  lest your Cinderfella story turn into one nobody wants to hear.

Besides saving money—just think about the emotional capital you’ll accrue from learning to make the most of what you have right now.

Scrotox

No, really, this is a thing: Men are injecting Botox into their scrotum, so it’ll have a more youthful appearance, and look a bit bigger. We think getting kicked in the balls could have the same effect, and be just as pleasurable. Avoid.

Pumps

Good news, men: Penis pumps will make your dick bigger! Temporarily. Because they draw blood into the penis via a vacuum, it can be an effective cure for erectile dysfunction, a claim supported by none other than the Mayo Clinic, which approves them because they are “effective,” “pose less of a risk than other treatments” and are “noninvasive.” (It worked for the guys in Magic Mike, too, if you trust them more than doctors.)

If you can’t get it up, they’re gonna pump—clap—you up.

Just don’t use them all the time, as it can lead to tissue damage, softer erections and bruising—beyond your ego.

Pos-T-vac Bos 2000

What it is: The best-reviewed pump on Amazon, the 2000 is popular with diabetes and arthritis sufferers because it works with the push of a button (instead of you having to pump in manually). We like it for that reason, too. One army sergeant we know, hurt in Afghanistan, ruefully nicknamed his the iBone.

How it feels: Not painful. Not sexual, either. More like someone’s giving you a massive hickey—on your dick.

Does it work: Yes. It will help give you an erection, and added a temporary—remember, temporary—inch of circumference to our penises.

The doctor says: “Use in moderation.”

Final verdict: Use if you have ED—or just need to boost your confidence. But if you have no trouble getting an erection naturally, seriously consider the techniques mentioned in previous and future chapters. If you’re going to bring out an electronic in bed, better if it’s a vibrator for her (or him, or you).

Cost and where to buy: $139, amazon.com. Batteries not included.

Encore Deluxe Vacuum Therapy System

What it is: A manual pump—not electric—but after about five pumps, we were hard. For discretion, it comes in a black case.

How it feels: Not painful. Kinda like putting your penis into a toilet-paper tube, if it were made of plastic. To secure the tube, you choose from one of seven rings (select wisely; many of the poor reviews online involve people apparently choosing rings too big or small—ouch). For us, it wasn’t hard. Or rather, it was!

Does it work: Yes. But remember, pumps provide a temporary boost—not permanent.

The doctor says: “Products like this are effective for those with health problems—diabetes, for example—that lead to an inability to gain an erection. But I can’t say I’ve used this, or any of these products, personally!”

Final verdict: For a decent pump, expect to pay $100 or more—and this one’s decent. Or buy an Amazon Echo on Prime Day for the same price and sweet talk Alexa.

Cost and where to buy: $125, amazon.com. Batteries not included.

Turbo Suck

What it is: An affordable pump that often ends up on sex toy roundups, probably because of its name. Unfortunately, it “sucks.”

How it feels: Like your dick is in a plastic tube powered by a wind-up toy.

Does it work: No.

The doctor says: “Buyer beware.”

Final verdict: For a decent pump, expect to pay $100 or more.

Cost and where to buy: $40 if you dare, amazon.com. Batteries not included.

Xtender II

What it is: An 8” penis pump that glows in the dark. Yes, it glows in the dark.

How it feels: Who cares—did we mention it glows in the dark?

Does it work: Yes, but the manual pumping takes a while. We got big after 6 solid minutes. More relevantly, we’re including it here because of the novelty. If you find it awkward to tell your lover, “Wait, lemme get my penis pump,” at least this will get you both laughing. It worked for John Ritter in Skin Deep.

The doctor says: “As far as novelty toys go, this looks harmless. But it’s just that—a toy.”

Final verdict: Keep this away from the kids.

Cost and where to buy: $22.69, amazon.com. Batteries not needed.

Osbon ErecAid Esteem Pump

What it is: You’ve heard of ergonomic chairs. This is the ergonomic penis pump.

Because of its cleverly curved handle, you can use it with one hand—and see clearly through the base to monitor growth in real time. Great news for those who want to pump their penis and play Pokémon Go simultaneously. (By the way: Diglett, Pinsir, Jigglypuff, Golem, Lickitung—you do realize all Pokémon are named after penises, right? One’s even called Squirtle!)

How it feels: Painless. Expect at checkout. This sells for about $400 or more.

Does it work: Yes, it truly does. It better, for that price.

The doctor says: “This is medical grade.”

Final verdict: The Pos-T-Vac was cheaper and worked just as well, although it was harder to handle, relatively.

Cost and where to buy: $387.95 at vitalitymedical.com and more expensive everywhere else.

Extenders

Jes Extender

What it is: The Jes Extender—perhaps the most notable device in this chapter, if you’re measuring sheer publicity and not penis length—is the “the first original penis enlargement extender.” It banks on a medical phenomenon called cytokinesis, in which your cells divide and multiply over time when stretched.

How it feels: Imagine a vise for your penis. You secure the plastic base to your base, and tighten. Then you secure the plastic ring at the tip to your tip. Between the top and bottom are two metal bars. Lengthen them, and the base and tip stretch further apart, stretching your penis. You then wear this for an hour or more a day. For months. The mob would love this. But it actually doesn’t hurt. It’s more—just—humiliating.

Does it work: It claims 10,000 happy customers. Some reviews say you’ll gain 2.5 centimeters after three months. And 5 after 5 months. For us—we wore the basic version for three months and gained 1 centimeter. So yes, it works.

The doctor says: “The FDA considers it a low-risk device.”

Final verdict: If you well and truly are willing to wear a vise on your cock for three months to gain less than an inch of penis, Godspeed. But we are 35 years old, get all the women we want, and don’t bother with this anymore. Stick to the tips in the first few chapters and save yourself the hassle of hiding this thing every time you gotta piss at work.

Cost and where to buy: Prices range from $209 to $1,000 for the “platinum edition,” which comes in a wooden case.

Similar but less acclaimed: Euro Extender, Quick Extender, Vimax, SizeGenetics

PeniMaster PRO (or Chrome)

What it is: Operating on the same principle as the Jes Extender, this stretches your penis and allows the cells to regenerate. Founded in Germany, the product has a website that looks appropriately “medical,” with someone called Dr. Gottfried Lemperle blogging about how this extender is better than Dr. Elist’s implant, because it gets similar results without the healing time. It also—unless this is bad translation on the website’s part—appears to say the PeniMaster could cause bruising.

How it feels: This comes with a fabric belt but otherwise works the same as the Jes Extender, as far as we could tell. One big difference: your head is cupped in a plastic ball, which means it sweats more.

Does it work: Perhaps. Because it uses the same technique as the Jes Extender, and is hard to find in North America, we didn’t personally test it. One user online claims he gained a half inch after wearing it for 500 hours.

The doctor says: Again: “The FDA considers it a low-risk device.”

Final verdict: We’d rather spend 500 hours using our small dicks to please women.

Cost and where to buy: $151 but most sites sell this in euros or UK pounds.

Must-Avoid Techniques

Jelqing

What is it: Not a product, but an act, jelqing (pronounced jel-king) is basically masturbating, and then holding the blood in the tip. This is also called “milking.” No scientific study has found that it works.

Weights

Don’t hang weights off your penis. The end. We know the technique is purported to have been invented by ancient Greeks during filming of Caligula or something, but the truth is, we researched over 300,000 studies about penis enlargement and found no evidence that hanging weights will do anything for your penis. Unless you’re entering it in Mr. Olympia.

FDick 9005000 Brine Injector

We gotta say, this one made our dick shrink just by reading the description. You fill a black syringe with a brine solution and then inject it into your meat. But the FDick is for literal meat, like roasts and hams. It just comes up when you search for dick products. Our Easter ham has never tasted better, but “never inject anything into your penis. Especially gravy.” Editor’s note: Or Vaseline.

Part Four

Show it Off: The Groomer’s Guide to a Larger Penis

The secret to a bigger penis is not an optical illusion. It’s getting over your delusion. Because your penis may be bigger than you think.

The only true POV way for you to view your penis—unless you’re a contortionist—is to look straight down at it. From this angle, your penis will look shorter and thinner than it actually is; shorter, because it’s so far up from the floor, and you are far from it (imagine flying a plane, looking down, and seeing a Delorean zooming halfway down—it’d look like a Matchbox car), and thinner because much of a penis’ girth is vertical, not horizontal.

Long story long, your penis is probably bigger than you think it is.

That said, we know you bought this article not just because of what you see, but because of what you want others to see. This chapter is here to help. Just as a sculptor works in “negative space,” you can trim, shave and smush your way to a penis that outshines even Michelangelo’s David. Yes, you can make your dick look bigger!

You just need to know exactly how to groom.

∆∆∆

Greek Myths Revealed

If you’ve ever wondered why David’s penis looks even smaller than yours, some historians, like Kenneth Dover in his landmark article Greek Homosexuality, have argued that small penises were more coveted than large ones in Greek times, because large members were symbolic of “foolishness, lust and ugliness.” Now you know why we call jerks “big dick”s.

∆∆∆

How to Groom

Manscaping is by now a societal norm. The reasons are myriad: oral sex has become more common, and no one wants to floss with pubes, male or female; the cost of electric razors have gone down; in the interest of equality, men shave like women. But we’d guess the primary reason for so many drains getting clogged with so many mini-Afros is that shaving your public hair makes your dick look bigger. Score one for the plumbers, and for us.

As for how much to cut, that’s up to you. We personally like a thin layer left, so it doesn’t like like a hairless guinea pig is hanging between our legs. But it’s dealer’s choice, and up to you and your partner.

Step 1. Accept This is Happening

Although we could not confirm it at press time, John McClane from Die Hard does not shave his balls. He’s too manly and macho. But newsflash: He’s also fictional. The fact is, most modern men today groom themselves—and shave the pubic hair from their pubic bone and balls. Macho or not, you should too. After all, in real life, Bruce Willis is bald as an eagle. And women today expect you to at least trim, if not completely shave.

Accept that if you show up without shaving, you’re the outlier.

Step 2. Buy the Right Razor

Please don’t take an ordinary Bic to your dick. When we say you’re going to “shave” your pubic area, we mean with an electric razor with a comb attachment. If you use a traditional razor—even ones marketed for your “body”—there’s a good chance you’ll get red shave bumps, incite extra itching and, worse, give your boy more than a haircut. (Think the ear scene in Reservoir Dogs, but with your dick.) Here’s the brands we have tested and love:

Good

Ceenwes Electric Razor 7 in 1

This newbie to the market has self-sharpening blades and comes with a crazy amount of attachments, including a razor head, facial cleaning brush, precision trimmer, sideburns trimmer, nose/ear trimmer, soft face sponge, comb—and a “lady” feature for her. We like it because it didn’t “tug” at our hair—no matter where we used it.

List price: $69.99; we paid $39.99 on Amazon.

Better

Braun Cruzer 6 Body ShaverTwo big names in shaving—Braun and Gillette—teamed up for this, and the result is something unique: a razor that works equally well when wet or dry. Bonus points for the various lengths perfect for grooming: sensitive, medium & long (0.6mm, 3mm, 8mm).
List Price: $79.95; we paid the same on Amazon.

Best

Philips Norelco Bodygroom Series 7100This sleek beauty swings both ways: There’s a shaver on one end, and a hair trimmer on the other, so you can shave yourself literally from head to toe. Plus, the 3D head means it easily handles curves—helpful for your groin area, but also if you have a hairy backside. Using it, we’ve never had red bumps or itching.
List price: $69.99; We paid: $59.99 on Amazon.

Step 3. Shave Right

On shave day, you’ll want to ensure you have a bathroom, 10 minutes to spare, and complete privacy. Those conditions met, you’ll:

       Select your length. Most razors, including the ones we recommended, come with the comb attachments that offer 2mm, 4mm, 6mm, etc. We like the 2mm setting. That’ll leave a little hair; some women might not notice you manscape at all (it’s an illusion!), but you’ll look bigger. If you want to go completely shaven, don’t use the attachment at all.

       Get in the shower, but don’t get your pubic hair wet—the steam and moisture will relax the wiry hairs, but get them too wet and you might shave off too much.

       Turn on the razor.

       Starting from the belly button, shave from right to left in even strokes, like you’re mowing a lawn, until you get to the penis itself.

       Shave the area of the legs where your ball sack hangs.

       Very carefully, shave your balls and surrounding area—do not apply the blade directly to your sack, especially near the veins.

       Take care of any stray hairs in the area that look longer than others. The goal is a uniform look.

       Clean up—your tub will filled with little hairs on the shampoo bottles, tub sides, your kid’s rubber duck, everywhere you don’t want them. Treat it like a crime scene and leave it spotless. A groomed dick is sexy. Your wife having to clean up your pubes is not.

Step 4. Soap Up After

The most dangerous “tell” for an amateur groomer is not nicks—because you’re going to shave carefully—it’s red dots and zits that appear after. To prevent these, we recommend, after shaving, that you soap the shaven areas with an anti-acne face wash that will shrink your pores. Our favorite and most effective is Clean & Clear Essentials Foaming Face Wash.

Step 5. Moisturize

Between the shaving, face wash, and God knows what you do to it every day, your penis has been through nine rounds with Mayweather. Treat it right afterward by rubbing it with Aveeno, an all-natural lotion.

Step 6. Repeat twice a month

Or, if your hair grows quicker, more frequently. Just know that the more frequently you shave, the more susceptible you are to nicks, cuts and bumps. We like twice a month.

∆∆∆

Wax On, Wax Off

It’s a modern era. Men get manicures, pedicures and colonic cures—there’s no shame in going to a wax center and asking for them to remove your pubic hair. You’ll want to ask for the “bikini wax.” Pros: You’ll look bigger, be bald, and not have to worry about nicking yourself with a razor; additionally, it’s not that painful. Cons: It’ll itch for about a week and may cause red bumps. Plus, you’ll be balder than Bruce—totally cool, if that’s what you and your partner want.

∆∆∆

THE BEST UNDERWEAR

Now that you look good with your clothes off, let’s make sure the coming attractions are just as attractive. A simple boxer brief will do perfectly, but we’ve also rounded up underwear specifically designed for members only.

Boxer Briefs

Good

Uniqlo Supima Cotton Boxer Briefs

We’re not going to say Japanese men have small penises. But we will say this Japanese store has underwear designed to show them off.

Better

David Beckham H+M Boxer Briefs

Sure, the dude’s hung, but the reason we know he’s hung is because he posed in H+M underwear so tight, they’d make an acorn look like an oak tree. These are worth the $30 you’ll have to pay on eBay.

Best

Calvin Klein Boxer Briefs

The classic. They made Marky Mark look good 20 years ago; they’ll give you good vibrations and sweet sensations.

Specialty Underwear

Best

Tulio

Popular in the gay community, underwear that has a pouch for your penis can make anyone’s dick look bigger. “Tulio’s Power Pouch trunks will enhance your bulge AND your self-esteem!” promises our favorite brands. “The single-ply pouch is heavily contoured and includes a surrounding elastic band that comfortably pulls your package out and away from your body for the best possible male profile.”

Boldest

Joe Snyder Bikini Bulge

It’s a thong—for men, and for the men brave enough to wear one. “The supportive front pouch cups and lifts your penis and balls, pushing them upwards and outwards for a very noticeable effect that can even be seen underneath your clothing,” say the makers. “The narrow waistband adds to the sexy look and the back provides minimal coverage of your cheeks.”

Part Five

Go for Longer — how to Last Longer in Bed

OK, so you’ve started to eat better, trim the hedges and get more exercise. If you’ve followed our advice, you’ll feel much more confident naked. Now it’s time to share yourself with someone else.

According to a study published by the Journal of Sexual Medicine, most women consider intercourse that lasts for one to two minutes “too short.” In Podrick’s terms: 3 to 7 minutes of swordplay was judged “adequate,” meaning “meh.” The most “desirable” was 7 to 13 minutes of fencing. (10 to 30 minutes was said to be “too long.”) So, gentlemen, 7 to 13 minutes is what most women want. But how do you last that long? And how do you recover after orgasm? This chapter will answer these questions and expand your confidence.

How to prevent premature ejaculation

It happened to Richard Pryor. It happened to us. It probably happened to Superman. (After all, he is the fastest man on the planet). It’s happened to most men: Premature ejaculation. The trick is making sure it doesn’t happen again.

 

Just remember, “Premature ejaculation has numerous causes,”

 

“Some men are predisposed genetically to premature ejaculation. Some men have a low sensitivity threshold. In some men, stress can provoke premature ejaculation.” 

 

You can prevent premature ejaculation by masturbating before a date. (It’s a trick used by Dev, Aziz Ansari’s character in Master of None.) Make sure that during the date you order foods we mention in Part Two, The Bigger Dick Diet: 20 Foods that Make Your Penis Grow. When you do it, don’t share that information with your partner (unlike Dev). Women don’t need to know how the sausage is made.

There’s plenty you can do to prevent premature ejaculation once you’re actually in bed. “Using condoms can help with premature ejaculation to some extent. Stopping sexual activity when one is close to climax and then continuing when the sensation recedes often works well,” says Shteynshlyuger. “Anti-anxiety medications and antidepressants called SSRIs can help with premature ejaculation to a significant extent. Topical numbing creams and sprays help but can also cause numbness and difficulty with erections. Applying the right amount of topical anesthetic is often a challenge.”

Despite all these tricks, if it happens to you, remember some old advice from Richard Pryor: After coming too early, he pretended that nothing happened, stayed inside until he got hard again and finished the job. We actually tested it on a few occasions. It works, and women love it. Confidence is the key.

How to get hard quickly

Some of us have opposite problem: An inability to get an erection when it’s most needed. But there are some shortcuts that’ll help you get hard quickly. “Visual stimulation works well for many men; masturbation and fantasizing are other proven tricks,” says Shteynshlyuger. Focus on the sexiest part of your partner’s body, think of Scarlett Johansson, or simply excuse yourself for a second, go to bathroom and watch a bit of porn on your phone. (It’s the 21st century—it’s OK.) Just make sure your phone is on mute (or not connected to an Amazon Echo speaker in the room—that actually happened to a friend of ours).

How to recover faster after orgasm

A surefire way to impress your partner in bed is to have sex more than once. But that’s easier said than done. Not everyone can recover quickly after orgasm. “Ability to recover from orgasm is related to age,” says Shteynshlyuger. “Younger men are able to recover from orgasm faster. Men with low testosterone can have delayed recovery from orgasm.” You can use the tricks mentioned above, or simply ask your partner to stimulate your penis. Nothing will get you harder than a blowjob. Be respectful but not shy. Many women will be more than happy to warm you up and enjoy the benefits of her work one more time.

If you play your cards right, you can go more than two rounds. In a famous episode of Friends, Ross mentions “The Night of Seven Times” as the highest achievement of his life. We asked Shteynshlyuger how much sex an average man can realistically have in one night. “First of all, there is no such thing as an average male,” he says. “All males are above average. While it’s possible to have a marathon sex session, most men would find it difficult to get erections spontaneously seven times in a row.” It’s a long shot but achievable: One of us successfully recreated “The Night of Seven Times”—and on more than one occasion!

But be careful—there is such a thing as too much sex. “Prolonged thrusting, especially if the partner is not well lubricated, can cause penile lacerations and abrasions from friction. Good lubrication is the key,” advises Shteynshlyuger.

How to avoid “condom shrinkage”

No matter if you do it once or seven times, your penis could shrink when you put a condom on it. Why? “Erections appear as a result of visual stimulation and manual stimulation,” says Shteynshlyuger. “Increased sensation in the penis leads to stronger blood flow through activation of ‘mechanoreceptors’ on the cells of the penis. When condoms are used, the amount of sensation in the penis is decreased, often making it difficult to sustain erection and often leading to decreased erection hardness.” So how to avoid condom shrinkage? “Thinner condoms may help,” advises Shteynshlyuger. “If you’re in an established relationship and both partners are STD-free, relying on other methods of contraception may help too.”

How to deal with “pool” shrinkage

“I was in the pool! I was in the pool!” Poor George Costanza—169 episodes of Seinfeld and he’s mostly remembered for his shrunken penis. How can you avoid repeating that infamous scene? You really can’t. “The penis tends to shrink in cold weather or when exposed to cool water,” says Shteynshlyuger. “It’s normal. The muscle cells of the penis and scrotum normally shrink when exposed to cold. There’s no need to worry. The penis isn’t getting smaller; it just contracts temporarily.”

He adds: “It only affects the non-erect penis. If one is to get a full erection in a pool, it would still be normal length.” Cold comfort.

How to prevent “Whiskey dick”

It’s simple: don’t drink too much. “Whiskey dick is a symptom of over-intoxication to the point that the brain is disconnected from the penis. Limiting alcohol consumption from getting to the point of intoxication is the surest way of preventing erection problems after drinking,” says Shteynshlyuger. We like a glass of scotch as much as anything in the world, but every man should know his limits. If you regularly need to drink to intoxication to function socially, it’s a good idea to talk to your doctor.

Ouch…

Many men dream about a long-lasting erection. Some spend a lot of money on pills that guarantee it. For others, a super-long-lasting erection could be a nightmare. “Some men have a potentially dangerous condition called priapism, which results in prolonged erections that can last many hours at a time,” says Shteynshlyuger. “While it may be fun to have a marathon sex session, if an erection lasts more than two to three hours, I advise going to the nearest ER. Prolonged erections can damage the penis and lead to scarring and erectile dysfunction.”

The Best Condoms

Now that you know how to please your partner, it’s time to select the best armor for your knight. Remember, it’s your responsibility to have a condom with you. Don’t be caught unprepared; it’s a rookie mistake. To make your life easier, we tested 16 types of condoms. (You’re welcome.)

Good

TROJAN™ Ultra Thin Lubricated Condoms

Made from premium-quality latex, these are thinner than most condoms. Designed for a more natural feeling, they have a special reservoir end for extra safety. And they don’t smell like rubber.

Better

Durex Avanti Bare RealFeel Non-Latex

Another ultra-thin lubricated condom provides a natural skin-on-skin feeling. These are easy to put on and so comfortable you might actually forget you’re wearing one. And they smell all right.

Best

LELO Hex

The LELO Hex is about as high-tech as condoms get. It’s made of latex and covered with a network of tiny hexagons, which provide ribbing-for-pleasure and allow the condom to be thinner while maintaining strength. That enables more sensation and the transfer of body heat — and some of the best orgasms we’ve had during condomed sex.

SKYN Original

We hadn’t used this brand before discovering it in our research. Skyn combines the strength of premium latex with the sensitivity of an ultra-thin condom. That means they don’t feel as thin as the two above: In fact, we had the opposite feeling—they seemed thicker. But it made us feel like our penises were thicker, too. Plus, the luxurious design looks like something James Bond might use. They’re a must-try: You’ll feel like the man with the golden gun.

Part Six

Satisfy Your Mate: The Sex Positions to Get Them Off —Every Time

It’s ok to realize that if there’s a chance you’re not just anxious about your penis size but also how to use it. We understand why. Whether you’re small, average or XXL, there’s no better feeling than watching your partner lose control in a series of involuntary spasms. After that moment, their body releases a chemical substance called oxytocin that makes them want to bond; they feel relaxed and in an amazing mood. This is a sexual Himalaya—the final proof of your manhood. And you don’t even need a big dick to reach it.

For your convenience, we’ve put together this comprehensive, easy-to-use guide to getting her off every time.

How to Satisfy a Woman—Every Time

For the record: Satisfying a woman sexually doesn’t always mean bringing her to orgasm. But that’s what this chapter is about. Remember that for men, sex is like driving: Most of us think we’re above average when we’re doing it. But science tells us that 80% of women fake their orgasms. Why? Well, we’re simply not as good at pleasuring women as we think—also, it’s trickier for women to get off.

Before you start, remember the three Bs:

• Be confident

• Be consistent

• Be patient

Be confident. First of all, don’t worry about your penis size. And that’s not us talking—it’s a woman. “You may find out that the size of your penis is perfect for her,” says Courtney Geter, sex and relationship therapist and host of popular podcast “Let’s Talk Sex.” “Satisfying a woman in bed does not always depend on the size or shape of a penis,” she says. “Some women are more satisfied with external sexual play than internal.”

Being confident also means that you should show you know what you’re doing. “I hate when my partner keeps asking me if I like it,” an attractive female lawyer told us recently. “I don’t want to think about it during sex—just do your bloody job and let me enjoy it!” Most women don’t like men who lose their confidence in bed. So act like you know what you are doing, and don’t worry: After reading this chapter, you’ll know all you need to act like an expert.

Be consistent. Don’t change positions like it’s the Sexual Olympics, and you’ll get gold. Once you choose a move, stick with it for a while. Most women need time to feel the rhythm.

Be patient. Make sure you don’t remake Gone in 60 Seconds. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and some women may need up to 20 minutes to reach orgasm. If you get too close too fast, think of something distracting but fun, like Civilization, Nicolas Cage, or new additions for your bar cart—that should score you some time.

Five Easy Steps

And don’t worry, it’s easier than it sounds. Simply follow these steps.

Engage in Foreplay

Stimulate the Clitoris

Find her G-Spot

Have Size-Friendly Sex

Get Cuddling

1. Engage in Foreplay

Rule number one: talk to her. “Communication is key to understanding and knowing what satisfies your partner. Talk with your new or current female partner about her likes and dislikes,” advises Geter.

Talk won’t help you if you’re boring. To be successful in bed, you must avoid clichés and routinization of sex. Mix it up. According to a Chapman University study, women are more likely to be satisfied after trying a new sexual position, wearing sexy lingerie, taking a shower or bath together, talking about or acting out fantasies, giving or receiving a massage, going on a romantic getaway, trying anal stimulation, making a date night to have sex, or using a sex toy together.

To get her into the mood, try a long kiss on the sofa, high-school style, and rub her back up and down. A little bit of action always helps—try to tickle her or arrange a gentle pillow fight.

Pull her hair back (gently!) and kiss the exposed area under her collarbone; it’s very ergogenic (meaning, physically enhancing). Play with her breasts—you both will enjoy it. In the meantime, put your thigh between her legs and grind her vagina for a while, while she still has her panties on. This will be enough to make her as wet as Niagara Falls.

2. Stimulate the Clitoris

Only about half of women reach vaginal orgasm. If you want to make a woman come, you cannot ignore her clitoris. (Rhymes with Dolores.) In fact, that button-like nub is responsible for the orgasms of 70-80 percent of women. It has more than 8,000 sensory nerve endings, and is as key to a woman’s orgasm as the penis is for men. In other words: try to imagine having an orgasm without someone touching your junk.

Before you go anywhere near the clit, make sure that your hands are clean and your nails are trimmed. Place your hand on the upper part of her vulva, where most of her pubic hair is—or is supposed to be—and move your fingers in a line down the center. As you get to the end of her mons—where her outer labia lips split—the very first thing your fingers will encounter is her clitoris. It’s not in the vagina, but a bit above covered by a small hood.

If your foreplay was good, she should be already wet, and the clitoris might even be popping out of the hood. If she isn’t, use your saliva or lubricant to moisten this area. When she’s dry, everything you try to do will be painful for her (and for you, too). Once you find and lubricate it, start to massage it from outside. Be gentle. Remember that it’s not a Playstation button, and this is not Doom.

Start slowly and gently from the outside in, and increase pressure and intensity while moving inside. Try not to ask too many questions; you’ll take her focus away from the pleasure. Observe her body language and adapt. If you do something wrong, she’ll definitely tell or show you. Like every massage, if you do it the same way for too long, it will stop being a pleasant experience, so try to change places, tempo and intensity—but slowly, and not at all if it seems to be working.

Keep in mind that in some cases, the clitoris may be very sensitive after climax, which makes stimulation quite painful.

If something doesn’t go according to plan, move on to the next steps and ask her about it after sex. You’ll get there. It’s all about practice, practice and practice.

And the best part: So far, you haven’t even used your dick.

3. Find her G-spot

Now that you’ve found her clit, it’s time to make her experience more intense.

Now you know that 80 percent of women can’t reach orgasm without clitoral stimulation. But areas in the vagina are also sensitive. One area with a very high density of nerve endings lies between the top junction of the labia minora and the urethra.

Yes, this is the mythical G-spot.

Mythical is a good word, because not everyone agrees that it actually exists. “I don’t think very many scientists or urologists would argue that there is an actual G-spot,” Dr. Amichai Kilchevsky, a urologist at the Yale School of Medicine, once told Reuters. “I don’t think it does any favors to women to refer to it as one spot. It’s probably a system of vascular structures that are all kind of interplaying.”

So even if there isn’t one magic place that leads to orgasm for every woman, there are a few very sensitive places in the vagina that are worth putting your fingers on.

So how do you find the G-spot?

Insert two fingers inside her vagina and curl those fingers upward once they’re two or three inches deep inside her. If you reach against the center of the upper vaginal wall, you should be able to feel her G-spot on your fingertips. Now make small circles and simulate with different moves and intensity of pressure. (See, aren’t you glad you trimmed your nails? She is.) At the same time, try to kiss her breasts—the more aroused she is, the easier it’ll be for you to find the place. It’s important that you do it slowly and gently.

It works much better when she’s aroused, so make sure you do it while stimulating her clit, or right after.

4. Have Size-Friendly Sex

Now that she’s aroused and begging you to be inside her, it’s time for sex! There are literally hundreds of sexual positions, but we carefully selected the ones that prove size doesn’t really matter in bed.

The smaller your penis, the more options you’ll have for angles, allowing you to focus on stimulating the first inch of the vagina, which is the most sensitive.

Try not to use all these positions at once. Two, or a maximum of three, positions per session are perfect. Anything more will be distracting, meaning that she’ll lose her rhythm, making orgasm less likely. And last but not least: No matter which position you use, try to stick to it as long as you can, ideally 5 minutes. If you can’t focus that long, recite Star Wars quotes (just in your brain; not out loud!). May the force be with you—always.

• Doggy style

How it works: This is the best position to show who’s the top dog. It’s also pretty straightforward. Ask your partner to bend over and crouch on her hands and knees. Kneel behind her and penetrate her vagina or—if she’s OK with it—anus.

Why it works: In this evergreen position, you can watch your penis in front of you and the optics will make it seem bigger, which will give you confidence. On top of that, it gives you more control and allows you to stimulate the clitoris with your hand or tip of your penis.
 

• Reverse cowgirl

How it works: In this position, the woman kneels or squats on top of you facing your feet and allows you to enjoy a lovely view of her bum. She can sit straight up or lie down on your chest. All you have to do is to relax and put your hands behind your head: Look mom, no hands!

Why it works: It gives the woman almost complete control. She can determine the speed and rhythm of penetration while changing the angle to find one that stimulates her G-spot most. At the same time, she can also stimulate her clitoris. It’s a good position for a man to recover in after dynamic doggy and to prove you’re a true feminist.

• Sexy Spoon

How it works: Ask your partner to lie on one side. Lie down in the same position, just behind her. You both bend your knees while you penetrate her from behind. She can also lift her upper knee to allow easier access.

Why it works: This is sex and cuddling at the same time. Women love both. It’s one of the most intimate sex positions, allowing you to play with her breasts, stroke her stomach and stimulate her clitoris. She can also use a vibrator—or you can use one on her.

• Rear entry with pillow

How it works: This is basically a variation of Doggy Style. The difference is that your partner, rather than using her elbows to crouch, lies flat and places her abdomen directly on a pillow under the pelvis. Your partner can place her legs inside or outside of yours, while you operate from behind.

Why it works: This position allows  for deep penetration. The pillow moves your partner’s butt up, creating a better angle for G-spot stimulation.

• The Splitting Bamboo

How it works: If you want to impress your partner, whip out an advanced move from the Kama Sutra. The Splitting Bamboo is one of the most accessible positions from the ancient text. It requires a woman to lie on her back, as in missionary position, but with one leg raised and resting on men’s shoulder while the second remains on the bed.

Why it works: It makes penetration much deeper and increases the chance of reaching the G-spot.

Did you come before her? Remember, your orgasm doesn’t mean it’s game over. “Male ejaculation does not automatically mean the end of sex for women; touching and kissing can be continued almost indefinitely,” says Dr. Vincenzo Puppo in Clinical Anatomy. “Noncoital sexual acts after male ejaculation can be used to produce orgasm in women.”

And one more thing: don’t run a sex marathon. Most women don’t like sex that goes on too long (yep, it’s scientific). According to one study by U.S. and Canadian sex therapists, satisfactory sexual intercourse for couples lasts from 3 to 13 minutes. Anything lasting longer than 15 minutes will probably be annoying for a woman. It’s better to rest and try again later than to hump for hours.

7. Get Cuddling

Don’t forget to cuddle—it’s part of sex! For many women, it’s the most important part.

According to a study led by Amy Muise from the University of Toronto at Mississauga: “People who engage in post-sex affectionate activities for a longer duration and report being highly satisfied with these activities will report higher overall sexual and relationship satisfaction.” Another study said that “women value post-sex affection more than men and report less satisfaction when their desired amount of after-sex bonding is not realized.” In other words: Jumping out of bed or checking your phone instantly afterward can ruin all your hard work.

So don’t forget to invest some time in kissing, spooning, cuddling and intimate talk after sex.

∆∆∆

Play With Toys

No, not your BB-8 action figure. We mean vibrators, beads, dildos, whips . . . Perhaps not on a first date, but if you’re with a woman for a while, she’ll appreciate a change. After a few glasses of wine over a romantic dinner, ask her about sex toys. If she’s hesitant, make sure she knows you won’t be judgmental. Share something personal in return.

If she starts to talk about it, it’ll tell you a lot about her sexuality and what turns her on in bed. Try to remember as much as you can about the type, shapes and techniques—you will use these details later to positively surprise her.

Next time you have foreplay, ask her to show you her toys. If you’re in your bed, present her a small gift. If you don’t know her favorite toy and size, go with something small and cute (rather than a Doc Johnson Classic Fist).

Types of sex toys and techniques are so personal—and differentiate so much from woman to woman—that it’s impossible to generalize. Ask her to demonstrate for you, how she uses it. It will make you both horny.

∆∆∆

ASK AN EXPERT

“Women Crave Confidence”

So let’s look at some questions and answers about that that…

Q: How can one satisfy a woman in bed?

A: Communication is key to understanding and knowing what satisfies your partner. Talk with your new or current female partner about her likes and dislikes.

Q: Are there any guaranteed tricks?

A: For some women, a man’s mouth or fingers may be more satisfying than his penis. For instance, the use of the tongue on the clitoris or around the vaginal opening can provide more stimulation, or a different kind. The clitoris has approximately 8,000 nerve endings, which is more than the vaginal canal.

Q: Do you think women care about penis size when it comes to sex?

A: You may find out that the size of your penis is perfect for her. Satisfying a woman in bed does not always depend on the size or shape of a penis as some women are more satisfied with external sexual play than internal. Also, a man with a larger penis may inadvertently hit the cervical wall. This can be extremely uncomfortable, even painful, for a lot of women. Therefore, a shorter penis may provide more pleasure. Along those lines, some women prefer a penis with more girth than length.

Q: What are the best sex positions to help women achieve orgasm, small penis or not?

A: For a woman to achieve orgasm, positions where the clitoris is also stimulated such as the CAT (Coital Alignment Technique) or Sideways Straddle. Positions where the woman or man can also stimulate the clitoris with a hand or vibrator are helpful too (i.e. Cowgirl or Reverse Cowgirl). Finally, adding a couples vibrator adds extra stimulation for both partners. Female-dominated positions (including the ones just named) also allow the woman to maintain control of speed, depth, and angle. This allows her to control or change based on her needs.

Q: Many women never can get orgasm. What one can do to make their experience pleasant?

A: I work a lot with clients to broaden the definition of sex. Sex can include intercourse, anal sex, oral sex, masturbation, toy play, role play, cuddling, dry humping, kink/BDSM play, and the list can even go on. With those activities, orgasm may or may not occur. I help people focus on what they want to enjoy about solo or partner time. If you’re looking to emotionally connect, then giving or receiving a massage or using sensory-deprivation play may achieve that. Heck, plain old looking me in the eyes and talking could achieve that too!

Q: How often do couples should have sex to be happy together?

A: Believe it or not, there are couples and individuals who are sexually satisfied and only have intercourse 1-2x monthly. Shocker—but the other time they spend together is just as good as the sex and orgasm. It’s also important to know if your partner is expecting to orgasm and accept if he/she does not report needing an orgasm. Society has created this message that “you are only a good sex partner if you make your partner orgasm.”

Q: So when I am a good sex partner?

You are a good sex partner if 1) your partner reports feeling satisfied with your time together; and 2) you’re not solely responsible for another person’s orgasm. Orgasm is impacted by a variety of factors, including emotional, mental, and physical factors—fatigue, anxiety, medical conditions/medication, connection, etc.

Q: What do women hate while making love? What is a definite no-no?

A: This question is subjective to each individual woman. Again, communication with your partner is very important to ensure and increase sexual pleasure. What one woman may dislike another may absolutely love! I was just talking to a friend today who stated she hated her ears being stimulated during sex, though this is a body part that is extremely erogenous for me.

I can say with 99.9% certainty that the majority of women dislike continued stimulation of the clitoris after orgasm. Again, this is also individualized for each person and each sexual playtime. Just like the head of the penis becomes super sensitive after orgasm, so does the clitoris. It can actually be painful if touched when super sensitive. I suggest discussing this with your partner to understand when stimulation to the clitoris becomes painful.

Q: After metrosexuality became a mainstream many men are really confused with their sexuality. Any advice what women like in a modern man?

A: Again, another very subjective question that varies from woman to woman. Personally, I don’t believe that chivalry is dead. For me, chivalry is a man offering to pay for our bill if he has asked me to lunch or dinner. However, if I am not dating this man or interested in dating him, then I don’t mind paying for my part if he does not suggest paying for me. On the other hand, if I want to date this man and he has communicated the same to me, him offering to pay shows me that he is serious. Again, that is my personal preference and belief.

I also don’t expect this the entire time we date, as I realize dating is expensive and I want to contribute to alleviate financial burden. Opening doors is another act I value with a man. In fact, a former partner taught me to allow a man to open doors and refill my drink for me.

Although he realizes I can do these on my own, it allowed him to do something for me that made him feel respected. Some men may not feel the same as my former partner, though they may need to date a woman who doesn’t need or want that behavior in a man.

Q: To women, what is the most important characteristic in a man?

A: Confidence is one characteristic many of my female clients report as desirable in a male partner. When a man exhibits confidence in himself (this is overall and not just sexually), it can create a feeling of emotional safety for a woman. I also see many female clients who seek stability whether it is financially, employment, living environment, etc. Stability can also create a feeling of safety and security for a woman as well.

I admit that our changing society is very confusing for men. Once a male can understand his own identity as a man and feel and exhibit confidence in himself and his identity, this alleviates much anxiety and stress in dating or relationships. At that point, he is searching for a partner who respects his identity instead of find mismatched partner further creating anxiety and stress due to challenges to his masculinity.

 

10 Quick Tricks to Make Your Penis Look Bigger

How To Make Your Dick Bigger takes just a few weeks for you to see the results. But sometimes, you don’t have weeks—or even two hours. Here are 10 quick tricks to feel confident in the locker room, bedroom or any room.

1) Buy penis-enlarging underwear

Ladies have the push-up bra; now men have the push-up….bro? Certain brands of underwear for men, including male enhancement briefs with a c-ring which, to quote one provider, “pulls your balls away from between your legs in order to round out your package and cause it to protrude more prominently out in front.” It works. (Note: Don’t buy underwear that’s too small. Although your package may appear larger in them, they will constrict blood flow, which is exactly the opposite of what you’re trying to do here.)

2) Take a photo of it from the side

Don’t trust your eyes. Looking down at your dick removes about an inch or two, because of perspective. Instead, get erect and take a selfie of your little self from the right side, horizontally, a bit below your cock. It’ll look bigger, no need for the zoom.

3) In fact, look at it sideways often

Don’t look down! Instead, hang a mirror on your wall next to the bed. When you’re having sex, you’ll love your reflection as much as Narcissus.

4) Go completely bald

No time to read our grooming chapter? Then just shave it all off. This is the quickest way to make your dick look like Bigfoot, especially if it was hairy as a Henderson before.

5) Get tan—everywhere

When your chest is tan and your legs are tan, your midsection looks even paler—a literal spotlight on your dick. The solution: get an all-over tan. Our recommendation is spray tanning, since the real deal can lead to skin cancer.

6) Stop watching BangBros

The porn industry has an inordinate amount of oversized cocks. We hereby prescribe a detox. (Or is it a de-cox?) Watch lesbian porn, real amateur porn, porn labeled “average guy”—any porn without a big ol’ dick. Psychologically, this’ll make you feel better about yours.

7) Buy a vibrator that’s smaller than your penis

When spicing things up in the bedroom, avoid that big rubber fist the size of a Tonka truck and instead choose a vibrator that’s about the size of—or smaller than—your penis. There are multiple benefits here. Firstly, you can relax about there being any “competition” with the toy, since you’re the same size as it. Secondly, you can work in tandem with it. A vibrator like the Rabbit can fit inside a woman at the same time as your penis. This “double penetration” could double her pleasure.

8) Condone the right condom

Here’s where most men go wrong. A lot has changed since you last raided your dad’s wallet for his old expired Trojan; brands today help you look bigger and last longer. To make the night go on forever, try the new Skyn brand, which are thinner than Trojans, and keep you excited. Or try a brand like Durex that is ribbed, which make your dick look bigger by adding literal layers.

9) Get hot—with a compress

Increase blood flow, increase the size. Right before sex, pop into the bathroom and put a warm—not hot!—washcloth on your penis and pull a few times. Then hop back into bed with the perfectly poised half-chub.

10) Pop an L-arginine

Check with your doctor before taking any supplements, but our favorite one is this effective pill that increase your blood flow, and makes for a chubbier flaccid penis (in case you’ve got shower envy) and rock hard erections. 1,000 mg a few hours before sex should do t